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The term gay was initially a slang term developed to overcome some of these negative associations. It may have come from a nineteenth century french slang word, gaie. What is gay? Gay is a term that is not gender specific so men or women can be termed gay. When identifying people as gay though, its important to consider three things. in his new book, how to be gay, professor david m halperin says gayness is not a state or condition. Its a mode of perception, an attitude, an ethos in short, it is a practice. Right, left-hand rings tight, loose pants tall or short frame- there is no universal sign a person is gay. If your friends sexuality baffles you, then the best way to tell if he is gay is to ask him. For example, the term gay bar describes the bar which either caters primarily to a homosexual male clientele or is otherwise part of homosexual male culture. Using it to describe an object, such as an item of clothing, suggests that it is particularly flamboyant, often on the verge of being gaudy and garish. being gay means that you have a sexual preference for the same sex as your own. Look at pictures of people who are commonly viewed as attractive and see which sex arouses you. it is very homogeneous hetero-normative and being in a catholic institution is not the easiest environment for queer students. Just know that you are loved, you are important and it is amazing to be queer, as it is a valid identity and many people are. If people do not accept you for who you are, then it is their loss not yours. Half of the reason why women are so guarded with men is because they constantly feel like theyre trying to get into their pants. Remove yourself from anything even remotely gay dont watch porn (again, its only a gay thing), dont go on gay websites, and most of all, certainly dont associate with gay people.